Crazy Shit Brings Gold

I just wrote what I felt was the greatest thing I have ever written. All from a bad night. I think its the most amazing piece I’ve written. I feel humbled by the experience. The chance to write something like this. I feel humbled of how I feel now. It felt profound.  The emotions were mine. The words appeared in my head. The poetry… like blood through my heart. In fact it was written from that very place.  But the reference points and the words were like from the back of my mind. As if a vault of vast knowledge belonging to the world berthed there. And for that short period i was allowed to borrow from the libraries of the universe.

Very humbling nonetheless. Hope I can do it again soon.

I’m in the process of revamping my portfolio and so i’m listing down who i am.
Ok you got me. I’m in a rutt.  I don’t have an answer to who i am.

like who am i?

seriously. I like to be witty and a lil prick and stuff like that. i like being vulgar and what so ever.  and thats just how i feel.

i’m trying to analyse the kind of person that I am that makes me so appealing to my friends and stuff.

Can’t find it.

So i thought, lets rest that thought.

Move on.

I figured it’s best if i moved on to focusing on how to be productive. I went on to read about finding out my creative process.

I feel a gap. Like theres a blank. but it doesn’t feel like emptiness.

Poloadroid

A panel of judges.

Underground.
Underground.
is where  i’ll be if i don’t wanna be found.
that’s where  i’ll be if i don’t wanna be found.
Secrets, Lies.

I just lost my favourite girl
To the heights of the world
To the heights of the world

Now I know nothing.
There’s nothing for me  to live for.

Now i don’t understand how live,looks beyond the floors of death.
I’m just hiding.
Now I’m just dancing underground.
I don’t wanna be found.
I’ll be beside her after all… underground.

She used be my wall flower.
Pretty up the sceneries.
Playing as the beauty of my life.
I never knew that she..
her pain was so existent.
I never knew she felt like she was alone.
Living on her own.
I was always there.

Now I know nothing.
There’s nothing for me  to live for.

Now i don’t understand how live,looks beyond the floors of death.
I’m just hiding.
Now I’m just dancing underground.
I don’t wanna be found.
I’ll be beside her after all… underground.

 

Poor me, Poor you. I doubt I do.

We spoke, we shook, our hands, I thought we had a deal.
A promise, if broke could spell the start of hell in shining.
But every now and then I forget the reasons why.
I just know that you love me and that i try.

Don’t know what to do any more, i’ve lost the ashes and the wine.
Is there a doubt that you heard me the first time.
I didn’t choose to be with a jailer.
My dream wasn’t to just be fine.
But my wedding vows weren’t made for the fire.
Lets just wait for time.

I can stand on my own heels.
But that would mean without you.
And I mean them dug in river’s deep.
But that would mean, I moved.

Is there a doubt that you heard me the first time. I didn’t choose to be with a jailer. My dream wasn’t to just be fine. But my wedding vows weren’t made for the fire. Lets just wait for time.

Cry the stress out.
Life is about consequence.  And conflict.

Gun to my head.
Not worth it.
I don’t deserve to be dead.
Victim of time.

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don’t ever look back, oh baby
Yes, I’m ready to jump
Just take my hands
Get ready to

beep.beep.beep.beep.

I can promise you my life.

I can promise you my world.

I can promise to give you everything,

but you must promise that i can have you in return.

All the lies you’ve ever said.

All the times you’ve ever played.

Promise those would be the last.

Cause tomorrow, life won’t be the same.

The sky is open and the light shines through.
Saviour is coming. Your soul renews.

Bleeding Love. Do for love.

If god was love, then we’d be doomed.

TO WRITE LOVE ON HIS ARMS.

I’m not some happy amazingly optimistic person on the outside but a secretly emo, self-mutilator.

But that seems to be the case, on a purely mental basis. My mind runs to the thought of self-mutilation or acts that imply sacrifice or pain ( i.e. shaving off hair).

If  our thoughts were immediate actions without going through the cognitive processes of morality or consequence, I probably would (by definition of main stream biology) be dead.

But till that happens,
Lead my soul to rest and my mind to ease.